Praise and Coffee

Fun Ideas for Graduation Parties

May 22, 2012 by Sue Cramer

It’s Graduation season and they made it…no, YOU made it!
Homework, sports, first loves and braces. It’s time to celebrate so put away the Kleenex for a minute and let’s throw a party!

Here are some simple and fun ideas to make your day great.

1. Put up a video camera on a tri-pod and hit record for the party. Also, make a sign that asks the guests to say a few words to the graduate, it will be lots of fun watching this later!

2. FOOD! Be creative with food. It’s ok to step away from the ham and cheese sandwiches.

Baked potato and salad bar
Taco bar
Appetizer and Dessert party
Search Pinterest! I have as board all set up with a bunch of great ideas and you can find that on my website.

3. Decorations:

Dollar stores are your friend! You can find all kinds of great stuff there: lawn signs, balloons, plates, etc
An easy table decoration: Colored M & M type candies that you can find right in the Meijer bulk food section
- Pick out your child’s school colors and add a few curly ribbons around them and call it good!

Another fun idea to have at a graduation party is get the book “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”…by Dr. Seuss and have all the guests attending sign the pages as a keepsake for the graduate.

Most importantly: Real Moms are not afraid to ask for help! If your child is graduating, you probably know a couple other moms who are also planning parties, barter help with each other so you can spend time visiting with the guests. Then do the same for them.

So, those are a few ideas, check out my Pinterest page for lots more. And congrats to all the graduates and their great moms that got them there!!

Click to listen to segment: Real Moms of West Michigan on Star 105.7
I do the ‘Real Moms of West Michigan’ segments on Star 105.7 with Tommy and Brook every Tuesday morning around 7:05 AM. If you are not in the West Michigan area you can listen on iHeart radio

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Are You Spiritually Car Sick?

May 16, 2012 by Sue Cramer

Ooops! I completely forgot to tell you that I was at the Cafe’ yesterday.

Here’s a snipet:

Have you ever gotten sick from reading while riding in the car? It’s because your brain is focused on the book and sitting still but your body feels the movement of the car. The confused signals between your body and brain cause you to have that sick feeling.

That same thing happens to our hearts when we have a passion on the inside of us that is under constant attack from our thought life.

Hop over to read the whole post at The Internet Cafe.

And I also didn’t mention that I talked about communicating with our kids again on Star 105.7 yesterday morning. This time I shared about how labeling our kids can stop the flow of communication if we’re not careful. You can listen on my Star 105.7 tab.

Hope you’re having a fabulous week!!

Thanks so much for all the great feedback on the last post, I’ll be delving more into how my faith has changed since I handed in my Pharisee card.

Much love.

Sue

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Is It Our Job to Point Out Sin?

May 12, 2012 by Sue Cramer

I had a friend passionately tell me that we need to tell others when they’re doing wrong. ‘It is our job to point out their sin in hopes of them repenting.’ I used to ride that band wagon, but have since walked away from it. You’ve probably heard me refer to myself as a ‘recovering Pharisee’ and boy does the recovery take some time. I’ve had to unlearn and re-evaluate so much of the doctrine that framed my life. I’m thankful for the things I’ve discovered in the Bible and the journey that God has me on now. It’s different, but it’s so beautiful.

I read this recently and it gripped my heart:

Sometimes in an effort to remind people of the cost of the cross, we withhold grace until we are sure they understand their sin. But it is in giving of our grace that we remind people that they need to go to Jesus to find their own. People understand their sin without our help. It’s grace they need help in understanding. Shawn Zimmerman

It makes me think of Romans 5:

⁶When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. ⁷Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. ⁸But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. ⁹And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. ¹⁰For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. ¹¹So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.

If the Father loved us so deeply as to send His son to die for us while we were still sinners, why do we feel so compelled to change people and to ‘clean them up?’ Wasn’t Jesus dying for sinners an example of the fact that we can love sinners completely before they ever stop sinning?

Prison changes people because it controls their outward behavior, but that doesn’t change a heart. I spent a lot of years trying to teach people how to be good. But now the only thing I want to do is show them what it’s like to walk in a relationship with the Father that loves them so deeply. To teach them to be good is a little like putting up walls around them. It’s confining.

Freedom comes when we meet the One who loves us right where we are and leads us in our heart on a journey built on love, acceptance and relationship. No, not embracing sin…but letting our lives be an example of what happens when the prison doors are opened.

I no longer feel the need to ’fix’ people or tell them how to live, instead I want to introduce them to someone I know.

Of course if someone is living a life that continues to bring them harm and they ask what I think, I would share my opinion and what I believe God’s word says. I don’t deny truth or just sit back and ignore the fact that sin destroys lives, I just don’t feel the need to address the sin as the main issue. Sin is a symptom, not the cause. The real issue is our hearts and for whatever reason, sometimes we chose not to lean on and trust the Father so we look to other things to fill or numb us. I’m not fully there yet either, I’m learning more about trusting Him every day of my life.

Read the quote again and think about it. Have you ever withheld grace because you felt like you might be excusing their sin? I have. I pray I can live more like Jesus and live to boldly show His grace and leave the fixing to Him.

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Filed Under: Sue Cramer, womens ministry

How Do I Get My Teen To Talk To Me?

May 8, 2012 by Sue Cramer

We all want our kids to talk to us right?

When they were little we imagined sweet conversations about life, love and how much they appreciated the sacrifices of our parenting. Instead we’re faced with rolling eyes and a child that looks at you like you’ve just arrived on earth from another planet.

We know that every day is not “fine,” and we long for our kids to sit down and share their life for us, but that doesn’t always happen.

One of the biggest reasons our kids shut down and won’t talk to us is that we freak out when they do. I completely understand this. There have been times that my kids are telling me about something that happened with a friend or at a party and I’m sure I turn 3 shades of pale. But even though every bone in my body wants to freak out and go into lecture mode…if I ever want them to talk to me again, I have to remain calm.

My teen is not looking for a life lesson at this moment. They want my ear and my support. These kids are facing a different world than we did and we want them to be able to talk to us.

So you might be thinking: what do I do if my daughter/son is telling me something outrageous or even something that scares me? How do I handle these delicate situations?

First we listen, remembering that listening does not involve the movement of our lips. (You may need to jump back to last week’s post about learning to WAIT.) Then we channel our inner Oprah and talk about how these things make our kids feel and what, if anything do THEY think should be done about the situation and then while you are having a two way conversation about it, you can give your input.

Ask…do you think it was a good idea for you to stay at that party? How would you handle it different next time? THEN share your opinion in a non-accusing way. Give them the benefit of the doubt…the less you freak out, the more they will open up.

Moms, let’s have honest-open conversations with our kids AND THEN call your best girlfriend and freak out!

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Filed Under: Moms, Motherhood, parenting, STAR 105.7, Sue Cramer, teenagers, teens, The Real Moms of West Michigan, womens ministry

Tips on Communicating with Teens

May 2, 2012 by Sue Cramer

One day we’re wrangling preschoolers, tying their shoes and washing syrup out of their hair. Five minutes later they are taller than us and rolling their eyes when we can’t figure out how to download music on our iPod.

Parenting teens is not for the weak. You have to be strong, have resolve, committed to holding your head up even when your child asks you to drop them off on the service road to the school so no one sees your cool van.

A common complaint among parents of teens is that they won’t talk to them. Their teenager puts the ear buds in and checks out of the relationship. Often we take that not-so-subtle cue and disengage ourselves. It’s true that our kids might need a little more space to spread their wings, but the last thing they need is us stepping away and taking the branch with us while they are still perched on it.

For the next couple weeks I’ll be sharing some tips on the Real Moms of West Michigan to help parents have better conversations with their kids.

This week I want to share an acronym that I heard author Anne Lamott share. In her latest book about becoming a grandma she shares some advice to mother-in-laws that I believe can be hugely beneficial to moms of teenagers also.

W-A-I-T. Which stands for Why-Am-I-Talking?

I think this is a good thing for moms of teens to keep in mind when talking with their kids. It doesn’t mean that we don’t ever share our opinion or give advice but it means that we pause and listen first and maybe ration our wealth of knowledge.

When your child looks at you like Simon Cowell looks at a biker-chick singing a pitchy version of Achy-Breaky Heart, you might want to WAIT. They are not hearing a word you are saying, they just wish the squawking would stop.

Another thing that I’ve been guilty of is: listening to part of what my child is telling me and then interrupting them mid-sentence and giving them my advice to fix the issue at hand. This includes things which are not even issues to them…just part of their everyday life that I feel the need to interject my opinion upon. Instead I should probably WAIT, listen to what they are telling me and then decide if what I want to say is necessary or just noise. You may find out that by the end of the story, no input from you was needed at all. Just an ear.

Moms, before we jump in with our pearls of wisdom, let’s think to ourselves: Why Am I Talking?

Listen first
Be fanatically on their side
WAIT

I’d love to hear what tips you have on communicating with your teens.

Next week I have one of the biggest reasons that our teens don’t talk to us. Huge even. Tune in!

I do the ‘Real Moms of West Michigan’ segments on Star 105.7 with Tommy and Brook every Tuesday morning around 7:05 AM. If you are not in the West Michigan area you can listen on iHeart radio.
Listen to today’s segment: Real Moms: Communicating with Our Teens 5-1-12

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Filed Under: STAR 105.7, Sue Cramer, teenagers, teens, The Real Moms of West Michigan, womens ministry

Friday Favorites

April 27, 2012 by Sue Cramer

Ok, welcome to the first edition (though I make no promises for a weekly segment) of Friday Favorites. Just a few things that I’ve found in my world that I want to share with you.
A little fun and a bit of thought for the weekend.

Midwest Living

It’s no secret that I love magazines, and this is one of my faves! It makes me appreciate this beautiful area I live in and stirs me to hop in the truck and drive to see all that I’m missing. Or skip to the kitchen and experiment with the 34 gooey S’more recipes. Read Midwest Living here.

My new nail polish (yes, the ends are already worn…)

I have always had a French manicure but recently started to branch out in color and I love love love this new color. It’s OPI’s Designer series: Extravagance.

As you can see it is stop-traffic gorgeous.

My puppy. Actually, my Grand-puppy. Zoey

She’s had a rough week with a trip to the vet for shots and an ear situation that made her look a little lopsided for a while. She’s doing just fine now but really didn’t want to be bothered for this picture. She needs her beauty sleep.

One more thing…

The story of the woman caught in adultery from John 8.

I shared this with the girls at our local Praise and Coffee last night. I can not get enough of this story. The more I study it, the more it unfolds with the depth of Jesus love for us. As he looks at her and asks where her accusers are and she says they’ve all left, I’m overcome with the sense of relief for her and all of us.

Jesus stood there, the only one truly qualified to cast the stones and he pardons her. He pardons us. Can I live every day with that love? I want to.

But sometimes I walk back to that place, pick up the cold stones and beat myself with them, and I know some of you do too. Why do we allow our hands to warm those stones? It can only be because we forget the peace that once flooded our soul as we were pardoned. We let our own minds and the words of others drown out the cry of mercy.

I want us to stop that. I want us to listen to mercy.

After all, not one of us is qualified to cast the stones.

I hope you have a fabulous weekend!! What are some of your favorite things?

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Moms, Don’t Lose Yourself In Motherhood

April 24, 2012 by Sue Cramer

Being a mom is loads of fun right? Laundry pun intended. *Insert rolling eyes*

Raising our children is one of the best times in our lives, but often we get so busy with soccer, laundry, cooking, cleaning, playing, laundry, homework, lunches, bath time, laundry, reading, scraped knees and then more laundry, that we lose ourselves and identity as a woman.

This week I want to encourage moms not to lose themselves in motherhood.

We don’t want to be that woman who, when her nest is empty, has a complete meltdown because she forgot to invest in her own life.

A few ways we can avoid that:

Think about the things you loved to do before the kids came along. What are your passions, what do you enjoy? Try to fit some of that into your life now.
Take a class. Craft, photography, dance lesson, maybe you’ve always wanted to learn more about photoshop: take a class, scrap booking, Zumba…go for it!
Date nights, spend time with your husband! Arrange a sitter and put it on the calendar.
Make time for girlfriends! Not just play-dates, but get out without the kids for some much needed girl time! Moms, we need that even more than we know. If you are in the Plainwell, MI area: come on out to our Praise and Coffee Night this Thursday!

So, moms…don’t lose yourself in motherhood…make time to nurture who you are as a woman.

Your family will be better for it because when Momma’s happy…

I do the ‘Real Moms of West Michigan’ segments on Star 105.7 with Tommy and Brook every Tuesday morning around 7:05 AM. If you are not in the West Michigan area you can listen on iHeart radio.
Click on the Star 105.7 tab to hear today’s segment.

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Filed Under: marriage, Moms, MOPS, parenting, STAR 105.7, Sue Cramer, The Real Moms of West Michigan, tips for moms, Uncategorized, womens ministry

When My Son Was Diagnosed with Diabetes

April 19, 2012 by Sue Cramer

I hope you never have to experience this, but when we sign up to be a mother, we don’t get to choose the journey. This was one of the most frightening times in my life.

I Googled his symptoms and the page filled with one word “diabetes.” Before I knew it I was rushing to the emergency room with my 13 year old son while my husband was on the other side of the world walking the footsteps of Jesus along the dusty paths of Israel. I was a panicked mess. Josh was pale, lethargic and thin. And Josh was not a thin boy.

Here is a direct link to the rest of this story:

When Your Child Is Hurting

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Filed Under: diabetes, Moms, Motherhood, parenting

Confessions of a Judgmental Mom

April 17, 2012 by Sue Cramer

I was the mother of three young children in the early 90’s and boy did I have it all figured out. I knew that women should be home and not in the work place, I knew that breast was best and that TV’s were just boxes filled with evil trying to persuade my children to toddle down a path to h-e- double hockey sticks.

Can I just start with, “I’m sorry?”

If I ever “should” on you in those years, please forgive me.

By should-ing on you I mean:

You should stay home with your children.
You should nurse that baby.
You should, you should, you should…

Sorry. I will try not to should on you again. Sadly, should happens.

Now that those children are grown, God gave me a second chance with Lauren. We adopted her at the glorious age of 2 and she’s 7 now. She’s my little do-over card. Although, there are times when she breaks out in song and instead of “hide it under a bushel- NO!” it’s “country girl shake it for me” that Mark and I drop our heads in shame and say, “we’ve ruined this one.”

It’s with this heart that I shared this week’s Real Mom of West Michigan segment on Star 105.7 with Tommy and Brook.

The recent hullabaloo about working moms vs. stay-at-home moms is an unfortunate one. At a time when women would really benefit from standing together, we’ve once again polarized by should-ing on each other. Sadly, both sides of this issue divides women and can hurt the hearts of those who are choosing what they feel is best for their family.

Age and experience may have a lot to do with my change is opinion. I no longer feel the need to validate myself by stomping on someone else’s opposing decision. I think my own insecurity is what fueled my militant stand and desire to tell other moms what they should do. There’s nothing wrong with strong convictions, but the only person that my soap box benefitted was me and my need for approval.

I believe that all moms have a difficult decision to make in regards to working/staying at home, but it’s their decision. We can’t peer through the windows of another home and know what their needs are or what God has called them to do. But we can love our neighbor as ourselves and by showing that love, we represent Christianity the way Jesus did. Not with judgment but with grace.

I confess that I was a judgmental mom, but I’ve come a long way baby. Some might not approve of where I am now (I probably wouldn’t have back then either) but there is so much freedom in loving others as opposed to feeling the need to change them. It’s really hard to sincerely love those that we’re trying to change.

What say you??

I do the ‘Real Moms of West Michigan’ segments on Star 105.7 with Tommy and Brook every Tuesday morning around 7:05 AM. If you are not in the West Michigan area you can listen on iHeart radio.
Click on the Star 105.7 tab to hear today’s segment.

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Filed Under: Moms, MOPS, Motherhood, parenting, STAR 105.7, Sue Cramer, The Real Moms of West Michigan, womens ministry

Tonight! Our First Online Praise and Coffee Night!

April 12, 2012 by Sue Cramer

You asked for it, our first ever Praise and Coffee Night online!

We’ll be sharing our hearts abour marriage, motherhood and mentoring!

You will be connecting in the chat and winning prizes!!
It won’t be exactly like one of our local events but we still want to connect, encourage and inspire you.

Time: 7:00pm EST AND then 7:00pm PST…yes two separate events!

Click on this link to join us:
Online Praise and Coffee Webinar

Enter as a guest and type in your name when prompted.

We will be taking some questions and input so be ready with your audio and video if you’d like to jump in!
(We won’t be able to get to everyone but hope to get to as many as possible

We will be posting some questions (before and after the webinars) and looking for your input on our Praise and Coffee Nights Facebook page, so be sure to join the conversation there too!!
Hop over and check it out now!

And if you would like to know more about starting your own Praise and Coffee Night in your community, check out our ebook:

How Anyone Can Start a Praise and Coffee Night!

Looking forward to seeing you tonight!