First let me say, there is no judgment here, this is a safe zone for real moms! We can all have some of these symptoms but our goal is not to point fingers but to identify the issues and then
sulk over a bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter cups make better choices.
A helicopter mom is over protective, she hovers around her kids and swoops in at any sign of her child’s discomfort.
She doesn’t want her kids to try or do anything that might be what she thinks is dangerous, this can range from playing in the dirt to hammering a nail or fixing every situation so they never feel discomfort, even never letting them lose a game.
If they’re older she’s the one constantly checking their FB, their phone or computer.
This goes beyond normal concern to almost obsessing about:
- where they are,
- what they’re doing,
- who they’re with
- and if they are ok.
Of course we want parents to be vigilant with their little ones. We should know where they are and what they’re doing, but as the kids get older, we want to give them room to grow.
Protection is what our kids need, but…OVER protection is not healthy and might be more about what the Mom needs.
Over protecting is exhausting and truly not helpful to either of us.
In fact, some moms are so connected to their kids that their children feel like she won’t be ok without them. It is not healthy for our kids to worry about us falling apart when they’re away from us.
Sadly. if we do these things and hover over our child when they want to grow up, we often get the opposite of what we’re hoping for and we end up with a sneaky kid.
So, my real mom advice is, if you feel that you might be a helicopter parent, it’s time to dial it back.
- Give them room to grow and do new things…even some of the things that make you uncomfortable (we can’t eliminate all risks)
- As they get older- learn to coach them through situations rather than solve all their problems
- Ask them to come up with solutions for the questions and trials they are facing
- Teach them to think for themselves; don’t always give them answers
- Give them the choice if they want to play sports or what instrument to play, etc
- Give them more freedom as they grow older
Moms, sometimes this condition is because your identity is too wrapped up in motherhood. It may be time to invest in yourself as a woman as a person and not just a mother. I encourage you to get out for a cup of coffee with some friends and share stories.
If this is you, don’t beat yourself up about it, you are not alone! This journey of motherhood is a messy and bumpy road, give yourself a break. Take a healthy step back and assess the situation, make changes where needed and trust your gut. A glass of wine in a bubble bath just might be necessary too.
Helicopter moms, it’s time to come in for a landing. Everyone will benefit.
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