Leave Yesterday’s Mistakes Behind




yesterdays mistakes

 

Our past is a huge part of our future…our stories shape us and we become a women of our individual journeys. I don’t believe we can or should leave our stories behind us and think that we can just forget where we’ve been or what we’ve done.

But let’s not let our mistakes or sins keep us from the beauty that God has before us.

The ashes are a necessary part of the beauty, but don’t let the ashes direct us, let hope and trust in the Father direct us.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

From Angry Moms to Happy Moms ~Part 1

Taken from my segment with Tommy and Brook on Star 105.7. Tuesdays at 7:05 AM.

angry moms happy moms copy

 

First off let me say, I get it, I understand. I’m with you in the trenches of this one friend! We can all relate to being an angry mom at times and it doesn’t feel good to us or our kids. There is no doubt we have a tough job- I think it’s the toughest job there is. The kids are bickering, they’ve disobeyed or talked back and we’re yelling or worse…and then we feel awful. We feel like a failure.

For the month of February we’re going to talk about how to go from being angry moms to being happy moms.

This week we’re going to: admit it.

If we’ve blown it, we should own it. Pretending it didn’t happen doesn’t change the fact that we lost our temper and yelled at the kids.

Whether we do this alone in front of the mirror, in prayer, or with a trusted friend; we need to admit it. Being in denial doesn’t help; it just creates a bigger weight on our shoulders. The heaviness of guilt is miserable so getting it off our chest and putting it out there is freeing, even when we’re just admitting it to ourselves.

Taking responsibility for our actions can be difficult and humbling but it helps us start over. We may need to apologize to our kids. There is nothing wrong with asking our kids to forgive us, it gives our kids a great example of how they should handle their own mistakes. We can say, “I blew it and I’m sorry,” and if we said something cruel and we’ve torn away at their trust and respect, we need to use our words to do some repairing. It is a powerful way to teach them about what to do with guilt and bad behavior.

So, let’s take a step towards being a happy mom by admitting it if this is a struggle for us.

I admit it and will tell you that I need God’s help to overcome it. I can’t do it on my own and I have often stepped behind a closed door to pray and ask the Father to help me calm down and forgive me for losing my temper.

My friend Lysa Terkeurst wrote an excellent book: “Unglued~ Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions” I highly recommend it, you can get it at this link, on Amazon or anywhere you buy books.

Here is an excerpt:
“In the quiet, God lifts us up to a more rational place. When we are in the heat of tangled mess, crazy emotions drag us down into a pit of hopelessness. The only way out of the pit is to make the choice to stop digging deeper and turn to God for a solution, so ‘that God may life you up in due time’ (1 Peter 5:6.”

Moms, if you struggle with anger, you are not alone! I’m praying for you and for me and trusting that God will fill us with peace and joy and help us be happy moms.
I’d love you to leave a comment and let me know about your struggle or remedy to help you with anger.

 

If you’re not in the West Michigan area you can listen live on iHeart Radio anywhere in the world!

Check out Tommy and Brook’s page online at West Michigan STAR: Tommy and Brook

Their Facebook page: Tommy and Brook

And their Twitter: @TommyAndBrook

I Prefer Nice People

I like nice people. They’re easy to get along with; they don’t stomp on your feelings by calling you a bad mom. They don’t eat your sandwich at the office or talk to your coworkers behind your back. They don’t tell you that you look nice on Sunday morning and then inform everyone in your Bible study that you dress like their Grandma.

Nice people are nice.

But then there are those others in life, there’s one in every office, family and small group. They are not nice. They hurt out feelings on a regular basis and make life miserable every five minutes they are around us. They get under our skin with condescending remarks about everything from the project we’re working on to the style of our hair. We don’t like them; we want them to go away. We wish they would move to Bangladesh or on really bad days we’d like them to be stuck in the woods with a pack of angry wolves like in the movie “Grey.” THAT would be awful for them, almost as awful as having to watch the movie, which was 2 hours past terrible. I’m a huge Liam Neeson fan and I still hated the movie.

Sadly, I have to inform you that we won’t have a life filled with nice people. The mean ones are out there and scouting new ways to make us want to curl up with a blanket and a gallon of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream while watching reruns of The New Adventures of Old Christine. Which never should have been cancelled but that’s another post.

The moral of this is that mean people are not going away so we may have to put on our big girl pants (unless you are a man, and in which case, please do not do this) and deal with it. You can’t wait for them to be nice to you; it’s not going to happen. Stop blaming them for your bad moods and hang nails. If you need to address a situation, do it. Be all Sally Field in Norma Rae and start a fire, but if your in laws or the lady in the choir are keeping you awake at night, it might be time to stop giving them that much power in your life. Let go of what you can’t control and don’t let their smallness make you small too. You’re better than that! You drive a (insert brand of car, and it really doesn’t matter what it is because cars don’t make us better people, but this is a rant so go with it)!

I can get 100 sweet comments on Facebook, but it’s the one negative one that spins in my mind like a gerbil on a wheel. Over and over until the squeaking makes you scream at your kids because they forgot to empty the dishwasher.

If we’re going to be happy and successful in this life we have to stop letting mean people take away our joy. They do not define us…unless we let them. The choice is ours. When we find our worth and value as a person, from the God who created us, we will not be so quick to forfeit our peace.

Dare to make today different. Dare to believe that you are loved and cherished by God and that He is right there with you. Don’t let feelings dictate your day.

C’mon girls (and guys), we got this!

Revenge Is So Tempting

I may regret this post later. I’m going to be honest. Revenge is tempting. Right now. I’m wedged between tears and anger, vomiting and screaming.

I have the platform to spew out my side of the story and set the record straight. I have publishers that have asked me to share my story.

But as temporarily satisfying as that would be, I won’t. Not now. Not with the current state of my heart.

This verse, gives me pause. It helps me get my head on straight and lifts my chin back up to look in my Father’s face.

“To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.” Luke 6:27-30

So I’m writing this to you, thinking maybe you can relate. If not today, another time perhaps. And I hope this gives you encouragement to know that you’re not alone.

As I wrote in yesterday’s post:

 “We’re all tired of the cookie cutter Christian woman, we want real. We want honest. We want raw. We want to see the broken bloody parts, only then will we see the power of grace make a difference. We need to know we’re not alone in our messes.”

I’m bleeding today, but once I made the decision to put it in God’s hands, I felt His grace. Peace came back and I know that He is healing those wounds.

As tempting as revenge is, I know it’s empty and damaging. I’ve learned that the hard way.

The most wonderful part of being at this place in my journey with God is that I have such an amazing sense of His love and presence in my life, that even though life can break my heart, it can never take away the peace that an honest relationship with God has brought into my life.

I don’t serve Him to get anything but Him. I didn’t used to be able to say that. Position meant everything, titles ruled my life.

I’ve been considering (for a couple months now) taking a hiatus from all things Praise and Coffee. I haven’t made any decisions about it yet, but it gives me such joy to know that stepping away from Praise and Coffee would not be a step away from ME. My identity is found in the love the Father has for me and no title gives or takes that away. I believe that we all need to occasionally put our “stuff” (ministries etc) on the altar as Abraham did with Isaac and make sure it’s not becoming an idol before our God.

Anyways…

Thanks for listening, any thoughts on revenge and how God has walked you through this temptation?

EDIT: I wrote this today to clarify some of the things in this post.

 

I’m Unglued! Also a contest…

Edited to add:
And (by drawing with random number generator) the winner is: Jenn Soehnlin

Congrats Jenn and thanks to all who entered!! And especially the ones who signed up to receive our updates!!

Comments closed.

 

So I took an impromtu camping trip this week, as in I tossed Lauren, some snacks and few articles of clothing in my Expedition and sped to Pentwater, MI to hang with a girlfriend and her kids. We had a blast! Lake Michigan is so accomodating in the summer, I suggest you all spend time there. If you’ve never been, you’re missing out!

But in my haste I completely forgot my post with a giveaway for New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst’s latest book “Unglued.”

I am thrilled to be a part of this giveaway and blog tour, not only because I know this book will powerfully touch womens’ lives, like Made to Crave did, but also because I had the crazy honor of having a chapter of it read to me last year by Lysa herself. She was also in the process of hashing out the ending and I loved throwing out ideas and talking about it with her. I talked about it in this post.

 

Here’s some info about the book:

God gave us emotions to experience life, not destroy it! Lysa TerKeurst admits that she, like most women, has had experiences where others bump into her happy and she comes emotionally unglued. We stuff, we explode, or we react somewhere in between. What do we do with these raw emotions? Is it really possible to make emotions work for us instead of against us? Yes, and in her usual inspiring and practical way, Lysa will show you how. Filled with gut-honest personal examples and biblical teaching, Unglued will equip you to: Know with confidence how to resolve conflict in your important relationships. Find peace in your most difficult relationships as you learn to be honest but kind when offended. Identify what type of reactor you are and how to significantly improve your communication. Respond with no regrets by managing your tendencies to stuff, explode, or react somewhere in between. Gain a deep sense of calm by responding to situations out of your control without acting out of control.

Can anyone else identify with raw emotion?! Hand raised and head hung in shame.

Thankfully, Lysa gives us great info to help us hold our shoulders high again and let the Lord be the lifter of our head.

Made to Crave was about what went INTO our mouths, Unglued is about what comes OUT of our mouths.

If you would like to win a free copy of Unglued, leave a comment on THIS POST and I will draw a winner on Monday, August 27th.

So tell your friends and enter to win!

Underlying Anger

Photobucket

We may not think about the issue everyday, but it’s there. That thought pattern that plays over and over in our minds. A cruel word or action, a lack of sensitivity on the part of someone that should be very sensitive of our feelings.

Underlying anger can paralyze our ability to function as a healthy person. It often stems from feeling fearful and helpless or just frustrated about not getting our way in a situation.

Often underlying anger is lurking in our marriages. We can pretend it’s not there, but the cutting comments and quick rebuttals prove it’s presence.

Instead of ignoring it and hoping it will go away in your marriage, I encourage you to choose forgiveness.

Forgiving is not forgetting, but it is letting go of the pain. Choosing to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. We don’t forgive others because they deserve it, we forgive out of obedience and faith, trusting that God is smarter than we are.

Matt 18:21-22
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
NIV

Lord, You know how much _____(this person or event)____ has been hurting me, please help me to forgive. As I lay this offense at Your feet, I confess Your words from Mark 11:25 “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” and I receive the forgiveness You promise me.
Thank you Lord for setting me free!

I’m praying for our marriages,
Sue

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...