Taken from my segment with Tommy and Brook on Star 105.7. Tuesdays at 7:05 AM.
We’re continuing our month long look at how to go from angry moms to happy moms. Last week we said “admit it.” Don’t deny the issue, take it head on.
This week we are going to talk about being reactors or responders.
Anger, in and of itself is not a bad thing, it’s a natural emotion we all deal with- but HOW we deal with it is a choice.
How can I say, “Let’s grind the Play-Doh somewhere else,” when what I really feel like is throwing the Play-Doh into the trash and banishing my son to his room?
The difference can be in if we react or respond.
Reacting will look like:
- Bursting out- rage
- Loud, shouting
- Using guilt to control behavior
It could also look like:
- Silent treatment
All of these are reactive because we haven’t taken the time to consider the consequences of these actions.
They usually lead to regret, mom guilt, words and actions that we can’t take back.
A better option is to respond, that looks like:
- Direct communication-being clear about our expectations.
- Looking deeper than the moment- asking ourselves WHY? Is our child acting this way and what do they really need right now? Sometimes it’s as easy as food or rest.
- Responding is firm but motivated by love and nurturing.
- Responding will keep us in our authorative parenting role when reacting brings us to the level of our child.
We want our kids to understand that:
“Even when I’m angry, I still love you.”
Often a child’s understanding is that when we are angry we don’t love them anymore.
So let’s think more about responding to the needs of the child and not just reacting to the situation.
In Proverbs 16:32 we read, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty” (NASB).
If you are like me you recognize that it takes might, determination and prayer to respond patiently and be slow to anger.
Prayer is a big part of my parenting, I highly encourage it!
If you missed Part One: From Angry Moms to Happy Moms ~Part 1
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