Revenge Is So Tempting

I may regret this post later. I’m going to be honest. Revenge is tempting. Right now. I’m wedged between tears and anger, vomiting and screaming.

I have the platform to spew out my side of the story and set the record straight. I have publishers that have asked me to share my story.

But as temporarily satisfying as that would be, I won’t. Not now. Not with the current state of my heart.

This verse, gives me pause. It helps me get my head on straight and lifts my chin back up to look in my Father’s face.

“To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.” Luke 6:27-30

So I’m writing this to you, thinking maybe you can relate. If not today, another time perhaps. And I hope this gives you encouragement to know that you’re not alone.

As I wrote in yesterday’s post:

 “We’re all tired of the cookie cutter Christian woman, we want real. We want honest. We want raw. We want to see the broken bloody parts, only then will we see the power of grace make a difference. We need to know we’re not alone in our messes.”

I’m bleeding today, but once I made the decision to put it in God’s hands, I felt His grace. Peace came back and I know that He is healing those wounds.

As tempting as revenge is, I know it’s empty and damaging. I’ve learned that the hard way.

The most wonderful part of being at this place in my journey with God is that I have such an amazing sense of His love and presence in my life, that even though life can break my heart, it can never take away the peace that an honest relationship with God has brought into my life.

I don’t serve Him to get anything but Him. I didn’t used to be able to say that. Position meant everything, titles ruled my life.

I’ve been considering (for a couple months now) taking a hiatus from all things Praise and Coffee. I haven’t made any decisions about it yet, but it gives me such joy to know that stepping away from Praise and Coffee would not be a step away from ME. My identity is found in the love the Father has for me and no title gives or takes that away. I believe that we all need to occasionally put our “stuff” (ministries etc) on the altar as Abraham did with Isaac and make sure it’s not becoming an idol before our God.

Anyways…

Thanks for listening, any thoughts on revenge and how God has walked you through this temptation?

EDIT: I wrote this today to clarify some of the things in this post.

 

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Comments

  1. Praying for you!

  2. Wow, Sue! Thank you for sharing! I would hate to see you stop writing, because you are one authentic lady, amidst a sea of "how to be the perfect Christian woman" voices…AND you are a mature voice. But, if that maturity is telling you to take a break, that just might be the example that others need to see! I have contemplated the same thing myself at times…

    As for the revenge. It is something I deal with on a daily basis…and the temptation to become bitter. God continually brings me back to the cross and reminds me that the ground is level there…that my sin is just as offensive as the sin of the ones who have hurt me. So, like you, I have to leave it there!

    If I lived there, I'd invite you over for coffee and we could sit and swap stories! I'm sure we have much in common! Whenever you give your life away to serve and love on people, there is much pain!

    I am going to pray for you as soon as I hit "submit comment"!!!

    Grace to you! And a hug!

  3. I've said those words about "no more cookie cutter Christian women" and seeing more of the realness. I'm trying to get through my messes at this very moment too!
    Praying for you as you continue to allow God to "check your heart".
    Thank you for letting me see the "real".
    Love you!

  4. Prayers for you Sue. In needing to walk with go I belive you know your Praise and Coffee would go on as you have dreamed and been shown it's growth around the world. We all need a break sometimes and before you self destruct, perhaps now is a good time to give yourself that room to breathe.
    You are a rock to so many, but what you need truly is to be a rock to yourself. You have an amazing back up group and many supporters who will offer their hearts, their hands and their ears. And you have God who is always there even when you struggle because he knows you won't struggle long. You are a survivor….God be with you every day. And most of all THANK YOU!!

  5. I'm sorry for whatever is going on right now. Glad you continue to be real, and to listen to what God wants for you. I'd hate to see you stop writing, but if that's the season God puts you in, it's what you have to do. Praying for you.

  6. For me, it's just taking a deep breath and reminding myself to take that higher road.

  7. louise Castaneda says:

    Being" Real "is" real life". We all struggle! If we did not then we would be "God"And we would not need to be lifted up when we hit bottom. Not writing for a time is o.k. I say Get into your closet,fast,Seek Your Father like your life depends on it! He has another level for you to go upon to. But are you willing to let some things go that you hold tight? Open your Hands,cry out to Him. He will show you what is in store for the next part of your journey.Let the Father take His correct against those who have wronged you. That way they will have a chance to cry out to Him,ask for His forgiveness,may come to know Him for His loving kindness,Salvation.Confess your pain,sin in doing this keeps your hands,heart clean,your prayers heard,answered.Remember perfect Love cast out fear. Anger is the other side of fear. Close into His arms,let Him handle everything! Then when He says to write again you do just what He says! You have been hitting onto things so of course you are going to be target for the enemy. But Remember You are covered by the BLOOD OF JESUS!,You must have been considered for another promotion,another greater responsibility to have you even being considered to do this job for the Father. He is with you,Never will He leave you! Trust,"Praise Him" in the middle of any battle takes the arrows out of the enemies hands and are turned against him,this causes him to flee several directions. Love you,May Our Lord and Savior Bless you,yours in your comings,goings. love Louise Castaneda,family.

  8. dianewbailey says:

    I read this post and today's post as well. Working with the public is exhausting and after so long we all need a change of pace. I think most people understand what you are saying and are thankful for your honesty, your heart for the Lord and your realistic outlook for your life. Praying for you as I type. ~Di

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