Leave Yesterday’s Mistakes Behind




yesterdays mistakes

 

Our past is a huge part of our future…our stories shape us and we become a women of our individual journeys. I don’t believe we can or should leave our stories behind us and think that we can just forget where we’ve been or what we’ve done.

But let’s not let our mistakes or sins keep us from the beauty that God has before us.

The ashes are a necessary part of the beauty, but don’t let the ashes direct us, let hope and trust in the Father direct us.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

From Angry Moms to Happy Moms ~Part 1

Taken from my segment with Tommy and Brook on Star 105.7. Tuesdays at 7:05 AM.

angry moms happy moms copy

 

First off let me say, I get it, I understand. I’m with you in the trenches of this one friend! We can all relate to being an angry mom at times and it doesn’t feel good to us or our kids. There is no doubt we have a tough job- I think it’s the toughest job there is. The kids are bickering, they’ve disobeyed or talked back and we’re yelling or worse…and then we feel awful. We feel like a failure.

For the month of February we’re going to talk about how to go from being angry moms to being happy moms.

This week we’re going to: admit it.

If we’ve blown it, we should own it. Pretending it didn’t happen doesn’t change the fact that we lost our temper and yelled at the kids.

Whether we do this alone in front of the mirror, in prayer, or with a trusted friend; we need to admit it. Being in denial doesn’t help; it just creates a bigger weight on our shoulders. The heaviness of guilt is miserable so getting it off our chest and putting it out there is freeing, even when we’re just admitting it to ourselves.

Taking responsibility for our actions can be difficult and humbling but it helps us start over. We may need to apologize to our kids. There is nothing wrong with asking our kids to forgive us, it gives our kids a great example of how they should handle their own mistakes. We can say, “I blew it and I’m sorry,” and if we said something cruel and we’ve torn away at their trust and respect, we need to use our words to do some repairing. It is a powerful way to teach them about what to do with guilt and bad behavior.

So, let’s take a step towards being a happy mom by admitting it if this is a struggle for us.

I admit it and will tell you that I need God’s help to overcome it. I can’t do it on my own and I have often stepped behind a closed door to pray and ask the Father to help me calm down and forgive me for losing my temper.

My friend Lysa Terkeurst wrote an excellent book: “Unglued~ Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions” I highly recommend it, you can get it at this link, on Amazon or anywhere you buy books.

Here is an excerpt:
“In the quiet, God lifts us up to a more rational place. When we are in the heat of tangled mess, crazy emotions drag us down into a pit of hopelessness. The only way out of the pit is to make the choice to stop digging deeper and turn to God for a solution, so ‘that God may life you up in due time’ (1 Peter 5:6.”

Moms, if you struggle with anger, you are not alone! I’m praying for you and for me and trusting that God will fill us with peace and joy and help us be happy moms.
I’d love you to leave a comment and let me know about your struggle or remedy to help you with anger.

 

If you’re not in the West Michigan area you can listen live on iHeart Radio anywhere in the world!

Check out Tommy and Brook’s page online at West Michigan STAR: Tommy and Brook

Their Facebook page: Tommy and Brook

And their Twitter: @TommyAndBrook

When bad Guys Change the Day

trust Him

What a beautiful awful mess of a world we live in.

A thousand miles away, bad guys change our day.

I learned of the terror walking into a restaurant to celebrate my husband’s birthday with our 8 year old. It was impromptu so our grown kids were not there. It was just the three of us, hoping for some great steak.

We watched the screens from our booth and the questions poured from Lauren’s quivering lips. We distracted as best we could, but our eyes were nervously drawn to the screens. A lump in my throat welled as I saw service men rush to the scene while others ran away. I jumped on Facebook to see if our friends in Boston we’re safe, a sigh of relief as we learned they were unharmed.

We asked Lauren about soccer and school, but her little eyes peaked up to see the bloody mess unfolding. Our nation was again under attack by an unknown enemy and our sinking hearts told us that we would never be the same.

Lauren leaned out of the booth to reach across and pick up a crayon when she fell to the ground. She was not hurt but burst into sobs and tears, reacting much deeper to the fear on the screens than the fall to the ground.

I stuff the pain and fear, I’ll be fine. I know that life will go on. That’s what I tell myself. It’s how we numb.

The raw reality is that we are all changed. We flinch faster.

I pray. I trust. Truly I do, but not naively.

I will not pretend that if we pray hard enough, terror will stop. There will be pain, there will be sorrow; we will hurt. But my faith in the fact that God is with me and will never leave me, keeps me from suffocating as I watch the images and hear the sirens.

Jesus never said that the world as a whole would be safer if we prayed longer and harder.

John 16:31-33
Jesus answered them, “Do you finally believe? In fact, you’re about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I’m not abandoned. The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”

This side of heaven we will have trouble, but He also promised that if we trust Him, we can be deeply at peace. If we let the noise of Korea, or the voices on the left and the right, dominate our minds, we will be shaken and live in a shallow place of terror.  Please don’t.

Yes, be alert, follow the leading He gives, but remember that we can live with unshakable peace if we trust that He is with us- He will not abandon us.

I do watch the news, I am vigilant, I am aware or the dangers, but I will not be a hostage to the fear.

I will choose to lean on the One who promised me peace. I pray that you do too. Religion won’t get you there. Following the rules alone will not bring you peace. If the ‘do’ing was enough, Jesus would not have chastised the religious leaders of the day. He came to reveal a relationship that was no longer about rituals and buildings made of stone, it is about relationship with a Father that loves us. It’s about orphans (you and I) finding forever homes.

It’s about finding peace in a world of chaos, terror and disorder.
It’s about recognizing that He love us, He is with us and will never leave us.

Only then can we see the beauty and miracles around us and let gratitude fill our wounded hearts and homes.

“The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living.” Hebrews 11:1

Our lives are a reflection of who/what we trust.
Bad guys can change our day, but trusting in God makes life worth living.

The Tomb is Not Forever

Tomb not forever

The season is hard. You feel tired, empty, spent. Nothing is blooming; it is the winter of our hearts. You wander lost, wondering how you will go on.  A life that once seemed so full is now confused and broken.

Take heart. Like the day between Calvary and the resurrection, life is at a crossroad.

He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.
Isaiah 53:3-4 NIV

Why did our dream have to die? What did we do wrong?

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.”
John 11:25

Maybe we did nothing wrong. Possibly, this was part of God’s plan all along.

A resurrection requires a death.

If you are in a season that feels desperate, alone and longing, don’t despair, trust.

Trust that the plan is larger than your eyes can see at this moment.

Believe that God is bigger than the current circumstances.

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5

And know that He has not left you, He will never leave you.

“He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.”
Psalm 40:2

The tomb is not forever.

I Prefer Nice People

I like nice people. They’re easy to get along with; they don’t stomp on your feelings by calling you a bad mom. They don’t eat your sandwich at the office or talk to your coworkers behind your back. They don’t tell you that you look nice on Sunday morning and then inform everyone in your Bible study that you dress like their Grandma.

Nice people are nice.

But then there are those others in life, there’s one in every office, family and small group. They are not nice. They hurt out feelings on a regular basis and make life miserable every five minutes they are around us. They get under our skin with condescending remarks about everything from the project we’re working on to the style of our hair. We don’t like them; we want them to go away. We wish they would move to Bangladesh or on really bad days we’d like them to be stuck in the woods with a pack of angry wolves like in the movie “Grey.” THAT would be awful for them, almost as awful as having to watch the movie, which was 2 hours past terrible. I’m a huge Liam Neeson fan and I still hated the movie.

Sadly, I have to inform you that we won’t have a life filled with nice people. The mean ones are out there and scouting new ways to make us want to curl up with a blanket and a gallon of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream while watching reruns of The New Adventures of Old Christine. Which never should have been cancelled but that’s another post.

The moral of this is that mean people are not going away so we may have to put on our big girl pants (unless you are a man, and in which case, please do not do this) and deal with it. You can’t wait for them to be nice to you; it’s not going to happen. Stop blaming them for your bad moods and hang nails. If you need to address a situation, do it. Be all Sally Field in Norma Rae and start a fire, but if your in laws or the lady in the choir are keeping you awake at night, it might be time to stop giving them that much power in your life. Let go of what you can’t control and don’t let their smallness make you small too. You’re better than that! You drive a (insert brand of car, and it really doesn’t matter what it is because cars don’t make us better people, but this is a rant so go with it)!

I can get 100 sweet comments on Facebook, but it’s the one negative one that spins in my mind like a gerbil on a wheel. Over and over until the squeaking makes you scream at your kids because they forgot to empty the dishwasher.

If we’re going to be happy and successful in this life we have to stop letting mean people take away our joy. They do not define us…unless we let them. The choice is ours. When we find our worth and value as a person, from the God who created us, we will not be so quick to forfeit our peace.

Dare to make today different. Dare to believe that you are loved and cherished by God and that He is right there with you. Don’t let feelings dictate your day.

C’mon girls (and guys), we got this!

I’m Unglued! Also a contest…

Edited to add:
And (by drawing with random number generator) the winner is: Jenn Soehnlin

Congrats Jenn and thanks to all who entered!! And especially the ones who signed up to receive our updates!!

Comments closed.

 

So I took an impromtu camping trip this week, as in I tossed Lauren, some snacks and few articles of clothing in my Expedition and sped to Pentwater, MI to hang with a girlfriend and her kids. We had a blast! Lake Michigan is so accomodating in the summer, I suggest you all spend time there. If you’ve never been, you’re missing out!

But in my haste I completely forgot my post with a giveaway for New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst’s latest book “Unglued.”

I am thrilled to be a part of this giveaway and blog tour, not only because I know this book will powerfully touch womens’ lives, like Made to Crave did, but also because I had the crazy honor of having a chapter of it read to me last year by Lysa herself. She was also in the process of hashing out the ending and I loved throwing out ideas and talking about it with her. I talked about it in this post.

 

Here’s some info about the book:

God gave us emotions to experience life, not destroy it! Lysa TerKeurst admits that she, like most women, has had experiences where others bump into her happy and she comes emotionally unglued. We stuff, we explode, or we react somewhere in between. What do we do with these raw emotions? Is it really possible to make emotions work for us instead of against us? Yes, and in her usual inspiring and practical way, Lysa will show you how. Filled with gut-honest personal examples and biblical teaching, Unglued will equip you to: Know with confidence how to resolve conflict in your important relationships. Find peace in your most difficult relationships as you learn to be honest but kind when offended. Identify what type of reactor you are and how to significantly improve your communication. Respond with no regrets by managing your tendencies to stuff, explode, or react somewhere in between. Gain a deep sense of calm by responding to situations out of your control without acting out of control.

Can anyone else identify with raw emotion?! Hand raised and head hung in shame.

Thankfully, Lysa gives us great info to help us hold our shoulders high again and let the Lord be the lifter of our head.

Made to Crave was about what went INTO our mouths, Unglued is about what comes OUT of our mouths.

If you would like to win a free copy of Unglued, leave a comment on THIS POST and I will draw a winner on Monday, August 27th.

So tell your friends and enter to win!

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