This is taken from my segment on Star 105.7 in West Michigan with Tommy and Brook.
We’ve all either seen it or experienced it first hand. The child in the grocery store that does not get what they want and the sirens go off. First let me say that even though this might be terribly embarrassing, just know that every other mom in the store understands, she’s been there, she’s not judging you, frankly she’s just thanking God that it’s not her at the moment!
The first thing to remember moms is to:
You can either fuel this fire or put water on it by de-escalating the situation.
One of the best ways to do this is:
A time out
Take the child into another room. If you’re in public go to the restroom.
Sometimes the change of location is like a reset button.
If you’re at home, put them in their bed or crib.
Check out this post on Time-Outs too.
Never give in
Don’t give them that thing that they want just because you want the tantrum to stop.
You may feel like you’ve taken care of the situation because the child calms down when you give in, but all you’ve done is create the opportunity for this to happen over and over again.
Don’t reward bad behavior, and tell them that you won’t.
“I reward good behavior, not bad.”
I would also encourage you to refer to their behavior as bad or good, not them as a person.
For instance, don’t tell them THEY are bad/good kids, but instead say that their behavior is bad, naughty etc.
And some basic good parenting is pay attention to what triggers the tantrums.
My kids were always more prone to meltdowns if they were hungry or over-tired, so pay attention to that too. That is probably NOT a good time to go to the grocery store.
And carry snacks with you at all times!
Moms, tantrums are a normal part of raising our kids, don’t beat yourself up if you’ve been blessed with a strong willed child…recognize that ultimately that’s a great quality…you just might have some challenges as you channel that energy and teach them what’s rewardable behavior and what’s not.
If you missed this segment, you can listen by clicking on the Star 105.7 tab.