Two shall become One ~ Coping With Infidelity

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Mark and I have spent plenty of time with couples faced with the problem of infidelity and I have personally sat down with women who were on the verge of stepping into or full-into an affair. The reprocussions are devastating and sometimes destroy the marriage altogether.

This article is very good. It breaks down the anatomy of an affair and reveals why and how affairs happen.

If you have not dealt with this, I’m sure you know others that have. Read this and educate yourself on the pitfalls of same-sex friendships.

Here is an excerpt from the article:

Dear Dr. Harley,
I am female, 34 years old, and have been married 8 years. Lately, I have felt very ignored and restless in our relationship. I don’t think my husband is aware of these feelings because I try to hide them, but they are in my heart. He buys me beautiful gifts and tries to give me his love and support. He has always been a very kind man, but he would rather watch TV and talk to our dog than talk with me. That’s just the way he is.

Recently a man has come into my life that has rekindled feelings in me that have been dormant for a long time. I find myself thinking about him often and wish I could be with him. I feel so guilty and ashamed of these feelings, but nevertheless, they are there. I try not to think about him, but I do. I don’t know if he feels the same way about me, but sometimes he looks at me in a way that gives me a signal that he might. Nothing has been said or done between us. I don’t want to tell my husband about this because this man is my husband’s best friend. There are things I can do to get closer to the “other man” if I will allow it to happen, but I’m afraid of the consequences. I feel I’m at a crossroads. I’m sure you’ve heard this type of story before. I would value your opinion. I cannot talk to anyone about this.

R.J.


Here is the article: Coping With Infidelity

I’m praying for our marriages!
Much love,
Sue

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Comments

  1. Wow, this is good. I love how you address REAL issues on your blog, Sue. I know you have a huge ministry going w/your Tues. posts!Bless you!

  2. Discovered your blog today and enjoyed reading through your posts. Was blessed by them. Blessings to you and your family from Costa Rica

  3. Thanks for all the great things you share on your blog, bless you.

  4. Very dangerous territory, we need to guard our hearts and trust that we are with our mate for life.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I have just discovered your blog, and this entry couldn't have been more timely!! Recently, through Classmates.com, I reconnected with someone I went to school with a very long time ago but with whom I'd had romantic feelings toward. We ended up emailing each other many times, and I was feeling really guilty b/c we're both married. Even though nothing inappropriate was said in the emails, I was developing an emotional attachment to this guy and he seemed to be enjoying the conversations, too. I struggled and struggled with not wanting to end the email relationship, but knew I needed to…. yet I felt so excited whenever I'd see an email in the inbox from him!! Thankfully he hasn't written back in a couple of weeks and I don't think he will. I thank the Lord for that, b/c I don't think I was strong enough to do it myself. Anyway… I REALLY appreciate your blog today and it really helped me a lot. I will keep coming back to your blog and learning what God has to say to me.Thanks so much.

  6. This was very good, and a much needed to so many today. I just discovered your site and love it already. Thanks so much for letting God use you to bless others.

  7. Sue Cramer says:

    Anonymous,Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I'm aure others needed to hear it also. If he writes again, go ahead and email me instead of him! Whatever I can do to help keep you from falling into that. Kim, Kathy,So nice to meet you!

  8. the160acrewoods says:

    what an important topic you've covered.. another really great resource is "Marriage Undercover" by bob and audrey Miesner.

  9. Sue Cramer says:

    Thanks 160!!

  10. Sue,Thanks so much for responding to my comment, and also for posting a comment on my blog! What a nice surprise. I love your blog and am so happy to find it. Feel free to come visit mine again, too. :-)Kim