I wanted to give up. I felt purposeless and hugely inadequate. The thoughts rolling and racing in my head. “You will never come back from this.”
That was my mindset well over 20 years ago, but I remember like it was yesterday. I’m so glad I did not give up. I leaned in to the heart-healing that only God can bring. And one step at a time, I walked out of the fog and the fear. I chose to look outside my thoughts and see that God did still have a purpose for me.
“Without courage we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency.We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.” — Maya Angelou
This journey takes courage.
To look in the face of all life has dealt you and say-no! I will not back down, I will not give in, I will not buckle under to the pressure of the world, and I will not agree with the lies in my head that I am not enough, not good enough, not worthy enough of love.
You are a daughter of the God of all creation. He loves you, He has a plan for your life and you need to stop letting fear of others’ opinions, fear of failure, and insecurity cause you to shrink back and put everyone else in front of your needs and not care for the beautiful woman God has created and called you to be.
Rise up. First for you, but also for those who need your inspiration too.
Let me be your Moses as he said to Joshua when he sent him to battle:
Deut 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
You are not alone. You are not weak or without courage. He would never expect you to be strong and courageous if He didn’t equip you with it in the first place.
Here’s the fly in the ointment- He won’t force it on you, courage is chosen. It won’t be by divine intervention; it will be your choice to awaken the moxie within you.
I pray you do.
24 years ago, I thought the days of sharing my heart and ministering to others was over. Little did I know, it was just getting started, and if I hadn’t walked through that painful time of leaving the church we loved, I never would have walked into all that God had for me.
Don’t give up. Stand up. Awaken your moxie.
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